There were no earthquakes in Germany today. West Europe has been at peace for years now. There have been no alien invasions for millenia, and dinosaur attacks are down to zero! Tens of thousands of people are on vacation right now, and a lot of them are having a fantastic time. Half, yes, HALF!, the world is having a summer season, and no meteors (of significant size) have struck the earth.

In local news, public transportation ran smoothly all around Berlin, and several babies were born healthy around the city’s hospitals. No one was murdered in my neighborhood, and many people were seen laughing on the streets.

Millions of people interacted peacefully throughout the world these past 24 hours, and many couples are still happily in love.

Coming up, a report on how we are blessed with effortless access to information, but first, a video of various forms of laughter from around the globe.

Opera reignites Islam row after cancelling production. In the play, Jesus, Buddha, Mohammad and Poseidon are beheaded. The Deutsche Oper decided to scratch the opera and replace it by “The Marriage of Figaro”, after Berlin officials warned of possible repercussions (retaliations by Muslims, is what they meant, of course).

Personally, I don’t really get modern theater. People wagging their dicks on stage, throwing up, screaming, acting delusional and what not don’t really strike my artistic chord. Some people get it, though. All that doesn’t matter, since slowly but surely a global censorship is being strictly applied to all facets of civilization.

Islam forbids the representation of their prophet, in fear of it leading to idolatry. The question that begs to be asked is, what’s the difference… you idolize a book, or you idolize the main character… so?

Then there’s the matter of the Pope. God’s messenger on Earth. Of course, Alibaba in Pakistan thinks he’s knowledgeable enough to demand an apology from god’s ambassador (voted in by 120 princes of the church, channeling the divine will, naturally). It’s the same old argument, someone says something, some sheikh or imam or whatnot, somewhere, hears part of it, makes his own (naturally, anti-west, anti-christian, anti-everything) deduction, and unleashes the hordes to burn the respective flags, dolls and other representative material.

The irony of it is in plain sight, as usual. The pope quotes a 14th century dude who says that muslims are violent. Muslims feel enraged, and, you guessed it, turn violent. It’s a vicious cycle, I tell you… stop reminding them, and maybe they’ll stop being violent.

God is infallible, apparently, but his representative is not. The pope knew what he was doing, in my opinion. He could have cited Christian violence as an example. But he didn’t. Christians have been apologizing for ages for every misdeed the church commited in the name of christianity. Why not give an example that’s contemporary for a change? Is it not a fact that most acts of violence the past few years involve Islam? Hizbollah, Alqaeda, Basayev, Zarqawi, Sadr, India, London, Madrid, Germany, New York, Sudan, Denmark, Belgium, Palestine, Jordan, Russia, Indonesia, Singapore, etc… The “causes” might be different, but the bottom line is the same.

It’s about time someone spoke the truth. Islam is a younger religion, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the world needs to wait a few centuries for this hot-blooded “young” religion to grow up. The pope hit the nail on the head. Things can not continue this way. It’s about time someone bravely stood up and quoted someone else.

Caught my eye, this news headline:
Blair runs into protests on Lebanon visit

That’s all they can summon? 2000 protestors? For the “lapdog of the great satan”? For shame! Is that the level of support that the Great Hizbollah, Amal and Mr. Fadlallah have?

It’s pathetic., These are people who live by populist opinions and claim public support as their source to legitimacy. 2000 strong.

Respect.

A 21-year old “LEBANESE” student was arrested on terror charges in Germany a couple of days ago. He was planning to bomb commuter trains in two German cities. Apparently, he was able to place the bombs on the trains, but they didn’t detonate when they should have.

“Terrorism has reached Germany”, as the media would like to put it. I personally was always doubtful of any terror attacks inside of Germany, because these guys have so much free reign over here (what with acceptance and the prevalent anti-anti-racism campaigns) that any attack would only harm their cause.

The question for today’s game is quite simple. Guess the kid’s religion. (hint: It’s one of the three major monotheistic religions!)

I’m blogging involuntarily, in a way. Starting a new job and a new chapter in my life had pushed blogging, flickering and other things to the background. Nothing like a war (if you must call it that… extermination is what I call it) to drag you back into it.

I’d started out by saying that the Israelis were justified (sad as that may be), nothing like an attack some 200 meters from where I grew up and my family still lives to make you reconsider. A hizbullah agent in my town is as incognito as a rapper at a KKK meeting. Yet still, the Israelis saw fit to attack two trucks, one empty, one carrying cement, in the middle of a busy street. True the attacks were precise, and not even the street was touched, but still, I have to ask why. The Israeli army is the one of the most advanced in the world, and the rate of civilian casualties has been too high to pass as accidental. I don’t put it beyond Hizbollah to hide between civilians (or to be civilians in disguise, so to speak), but still. Hizbollah is NOT Lebanon, and Lebanon is not Hizbollah. The extent of these attacks has gone beyong the acceptable boundaries of bombing a terrorist group. These attacks are also driving the anti-hizbollah Lebanese (and there’s quite a few of us) to question whether there is a hidden agenda, and whether the motives exceed the simple disarmament and disabling of hizbollah.

God knows it’s hard to detach oneself, and to be completely “objective” for a Lebanese when he sees his country’s infrastructure being destroyed and his compatriots dying, but I can’t help but have this constant thought in my head: Those that started it are more guilty. I don’t know what it means.

The Lebanese prime minister spoke up and said that the Lebanese army will go to the South, brave words, hopefully, soon to be supported by brave acts.

More and more Lebanese are saying: Fuck you. Fuck you both. Fuck Hizballah and fuck Israel. And it’s more than understandable.

I left work this afternoon and headed to a cafe to work some more (how approriate). Sitting next to me were two girls, one of them looked oriental. I didn’t really pay much attention to them, but I knew they were there, and having some airy conversation. Her phone rang. She picks up, and the tension in her voice is palpable:

“Where?”

“When?”

“Oh no…”

“How many?”

She hangs up close to tears.

All of this was in German, of course. I could sense that this was THE WAR, OUR WAR (the one we were dragged into feet first, that is). I looked at her and asked “The war?” And she said “Yes.”

“What happened?”

“They bombed a residential building, three victims so far… It’s crazy”

I could see this girl sitting in a cafe in downtown Beirut, or clubbing, or dancing at a beach party… And I could see that she knew that we had at least one thing in common… that fucking war.

My heart twisted and shrank, as it does whenever I learn of new bombs… I asked her what town was bombed.

“Nahariya”.

Like it or not, we are in this together. There are innocents dying on both sides, and there are people who care about their countries on both sides receiving phone calls like that, giving them a jolt of reality and reminding them of the fragility of life. Sadly, I see no solution on the horizon. More innocent deaths, breeding more hatred between the citizens of two countries that are, in end effect, destined (cursed?) to be neighbors.

I see no path that can be taken to stop the downward spiral that Lebanon is caught in. It’s a sad fact that the Israelis won’t listen to the international community, that Hizbollah won’t voluntarily give up its weapons and terrorist ways, and that innocent civilians are powerless against the bombs raining down on them.

I see various endings to this tragedy.

1- Israel realizes that they can’t destroy hizbollah, and stop this operation. This is bad because it will give Hassouna a strong boost in morale and encourage him to escalate his attacks, leading to more (and regular) Israeli responses and dragging the country back to the instability of the last decade. This also justifies a “resistance” and pushes us even further away from the goal of peace.

2- Israel manages to kill nasrallah and his lieutenants, leading the shiites to go crazy and burn the country themselves.

3- Israel escalates, and regardless of the outcome, the country is set back 20 years…

The only positive (relatively) outcome I see is that this results in the disarmament of god’s party therefore turning into the last offensive against Lebanon, ridding us of the Syrian influence, and maybe leading to more peaceful times. The loss of innocent lives, saddening and disgusting as it is, will not have been in vain. Again, I don’t see this happening unless Nasrallah is killed and the government moves in quickly, dissolving Hizbollah or maybe reaching an agreement by including them in the army. With Nasrallah alive, this would threaten the unity of the army and lead everyone to question its allegiance, but with him gone, his thugs might be controlled.

Here’s hoping that innocent civilians don’t have to suffer any more than they already have. Here’s hoping that Syria’s last straw doesn’t turn out to be a fuse to something bigger. Here’s hoping that Hizbullah’s last breaths are short, and bring a sigh of relief to the rest of the population. Here’s hoping that it really must get worse before it gets better. Here’s hoping that this is the last backwards step, and from here on we’re moving forward. Here’s hoping that peace is around the corner.

When you attacked without being provoked, you are a resistance movement. When you sacrifice a country for your agenda, you are righteous.

Tribal Mentality:

So, you cross into a sovereign nation, kill some of their soldiers and kidnap others. Of course you’re justified, they’re soldiers. That’s what they’re there for. What, the nation wants retribution? Murderers! Imperialists! Zionists! Leave me alone, I don’t want to play anymore. Wait, how about I trade you my soldiers for yours? That’s fair? No? Maaaaaaaa! The big bad zionist doesn’t want to let me play… Maaaaaa!

Retribution:

So, you want your soldiers back? Why? They’re cowards? Aren’t they? I mean… no, they’re not cowards. They’re willing to die. Right? No? Jihaaaad! (oops, sorry), no let’s talk. This is a fun game, I sneak in and hurt you every once in a while, then you say ok let’s negotiate. No? You want to hurt me back? You’re invading? Maaaaaa! Invador!!!! You’re not allowed…. I am, of course… I’m still a baby.

Logic:

What is tworisem? What is an ehkonomi? What is a cuntry? Who is nay-sean? What is a low?

Sense:

Syria? Oh, they have prisoners as well? No. We can’t fight Syria. They’re not dirty jews. They’re muslims. That’s haram. The Lebanese prisoners there? Oh, it’s not important, they’re christians.

Politics:

You can’t criticize me, I’m a religious figure. Kaboom. We are fighters, we are politicians. What? Don’t criticize me, I’m a religious figure. If you express an opinion different from mine, you’re a traitor zionist dog. What? Shush, I’m a religious figure. I will cut your arms and gouge your eyes. Because I’m a religious figure. I’m a religious figure, yes i’m the real religious figure. What? Eminem? Shut up, I’m a religious figure. whatever.

Analysis:

Let’s be blind-sighted, selective and subjective for a minute here. What’s wrong with you people? So we invaded israel first and kidnapped soldiers. That’s history. Let’s forget about that and start analysing WHY they’re fighting back. Come on, let’s say that we didn’t kidnap anyone. Ok? Israel might have still attacked for some other reason. It’s possible? Can you deny it completely? No. See!? Haha, I win! Maaaaa… I won! Let’s assume that we didn’t do anything, and that they attacked for no reason. It’s more fun to come up excuses and crazy theories than to be evolved creatures for a minute.

(And now, Ahmad, for the grand finale….) Why?:

1- Hizbullah reduces the pressure on the Palestinians, allowing them to blow up more busses.

2- Hizbullah captures the world’s attention, diverting the pressure from Iran and its’ continued terrorist attempts at obtaining nuclear weapons.

3- Hizbullah acts on Syrian orders to destabilize Lebanon, to pay Lebanon back for kicking Syria out, and to promote the idea that Lebanon is unable to govern itself.

4- Little baby Assaad was frightened by the planes buzzing his summer crib. The saddest thing: Idiots who try to justify or condone this.

Most-Wanted Chechen Rebel Basayev Killed.

Another one bites the dust… raf’d say “nuff said”.

Personally, I’m thinking of starting a blog just to report whenever one of these nice gentlemen is taken down. Just a name, date and a big “HELL YEAH!”.

“The English may have invented this game (one of these years they’ll actually get around to playing it), but the Italians know all of its tricks, all of its angles, all of its shadows. If Machiavelli was around today, he’d be a midfielder for the Azzurri.” -  The Boston Globe,  July 10, 2005.

Although I disagree in general with the stance this piece takes on soccer and the world cup in general, I couldn’t help but nod along to the part discussing the Italians’ style (or lack thereof). Personally, my interest faded in this tournament with Brazil’s ousting (ze French baztards, heee) and it was over for me when Italy got past the Germans. France vs. Italy in the Finals? The team I vehemently hate against the team you just can’t like? It could get worse than that.

While I respect his talent, I’ve always hated Zidane. Last night wasn’t the first time he’s gone all Clichy-sous-Bois on the pitch. The guy plays dirty, but is smart enough to get away with it most of the time. It was appropriate (and slightly rewarding, I must admit), for me to see him get sent off like this. Sure, it’s a sad way for a great talent to end his career, but then again… Ha!

The Italians are world champions? That’s going to take a while to digest.

Personally, my main thought after the game was: “What the hell did Materazzi say to Zizou?” Damn, something that would make someone lose control like that… that has to come in Handy!

‘It all really makes you wonder what the French were doing when they built this place.’ Stevan Spencer, the New Orleans Levee District’s chief engineer.

Blaming the French, are we? Seriously? They’re sore losers, we all know that. Their soccer team sucks. And their hatred for Lance Armstrong is childish. But I’m pretty certain that they’re not to blame for what’s going on in the Big Easy…

One of my suggestions to counter Syrian pressure was to strike a deal for fuel with some Arab nation… My suggestion made sense, apparently, as PM Seniora did just that with Kuwait.

Whenever something happens, a Shiite cleric/leader has to blame Israel, the Zionist enemy. Naturally. Times have changed, however. When Sheikh Abdul Kamir Kabalan (apparently the highest Shiite authority in Lebanon) claimed that Berlin prosecutor, and U.N. chief investigator, Detlev Mehlis was a, ahem, “friend of Zionism, manipulated by the powers, coordinating with Israeli officers…” bla bla bla… It was faced with scorn. Pro-Syrian Kabalan (who is a supporter of Speaker Berri) was accused of attempting to alleviate some pressure off of Syria, and discredit the investigations… It seems these petty accusations are starting to fall on deaf ears…

Funnily enough, Kabalan’s office later issued a statement that the good Sheikh was merely repeating what he’d heard from others… It wasn’t his opinions being stated. Are you fucking kidding me? So, the Friday sermon, by the spiritual head of the SHIITE sect is now the equivalent of a gossip column? What’s next? The latest in the Jolie-Pitt-Aniston conflict? Seriously. There are still people who listen to and obey these fools… Sad? Pathetic.

Finally, some fun stuff. Research shows that coffee contains more antioxidants than fruits and vegetables. That means coffee combats cancer, and helps prevent heart disease….
a)Wooohoooo!!! It really will counter my smoking! (as I had mused about a while ago)
b)One day it’s good, one day it’s bad… The medical community is disappointingly indecisive.