I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I’ve never been in a semi-serious relationship. I have, for a while now, thought that I absolutely need a long-term relationship, none of the 2-4 week things that I’m always having…

You see, it’s not like I start dating someone with a plan on my mind, it’s just that I get bored with the person (not the fooling around, not the intimacy, not the sex, just the person), and as soon as I’m bored, I have to move on. I’m not one to work things through, I don’t believe that everything is worth fighting for… so I move on.

That has always left me feeling empty somehow. I’ve dated a lot of women over the past few years, but none have lasted more than a few weeks. And I’m usually the one that ends things. It’s better that way, I believe. Honesty is the least that I owe them. The reasons never make sense… the vague “it’s not working out” is the plat-du-jour… you can’t exactly come out and tell someone that they bore the hell out of you now, can you?

Anyway, this led me to believe that what I need is a serious relationship, with someone that I can share a lot with, and stay interested in after sleeping together, or sometimes even after the first kiss. Someone that stimulates me, as a whole, and not just some parts of me,

I’ve been reconsidering that lately. I think that deep down inside I really want the short-term thing. I just want to absorb one girl and move on to the next. That’s why I get bored easily. I want out. I realise this makes me seem asshole-ish, or maybe, a pig, but honesty should count for something, right? I won’t pretend to be interested, it’s just not worth it. As long as I’m intersted, i’m in, when I stop being interested, eject.

So, I think I will end my search for a serious relationship. Actually, I will end my search, fullstop. Come what may.

I think too much.