Apparently, pope Benedict XVI signals the End Of Days. It seems that some 12th century Irish priest, Malachay, had a knack for seeing the future (funny how no one has had that ‘knack’ the past 300-400 years), and he predicted that 112 popes would reign before Judgement Day (no, no T2’s in this story).

He went further by giving each of these popes a nickname, and a short analysis. Naturally, fanatics have had immense pleasure in connecting the abstract dots of prophecy, and covering it with a twisted truth. Apparently, Malachay announced that pope #110 would be the “Labor Of The Sun”.

On the day JPII was born, a full eclipse was observed over Europe. On the day he died? A partial eclipse over the Americas! THE LABOR OF THE SUN! Get it? Also, the Sun. That symbolizes youth. Right? Maybe. Well, JPII was the youngest pope in a century! You see? You see?

OMG! That’s unbelievable. John Paul II was born in Krakow, Poland. You see it? You don’t? Well, Copernicus, right! Now you get it. No? Well, Copernicus lived in Krakow when he toiled to prove that the Earth rotated around the Sun. Makes perfect sense. THE LABOR OF THE SUN!

Man. Too bad Copernicus was a heretic who was actually persecuted by the Church… BURN!

Anyway, on to pope Benedict XVI. Malachay (who must have had one pint too many, in my humble opinion), predicted that pope #111 would be the “Glory of the Olives” and that he would be a champion of peace.

Glory of the Olives? Well, Benedict was seen holding an olive branch once. And on Easter!!! That’ll hold in the holy court with JC presiding.

Also, he chose the name Benedict. You know who St. Benedict was? It doesn’t really matter, but apparently his gang were called the Olivetans. Hard evidence. Furthermore, the new pope announced that he wanted to work towards world peace. You see?

Of course, this is as opposed to the previous popes who promoted war. I wish for the rapture to come soon, actually, if only it would just take THOSE GUYS, and leave the rest of us here.

I think too much about God and religion for an agnostic. Then again, maybe I should. The point is, I had this image when I read that article. If God had a sense of humor, she should take the non-sinners to heaven, and leave the rest of us here. But, since we’re so attached to this life, since we’re so materialistic, she should make us all immortal. As a punishment.

You might think that’s silly. Think again. 100 billion people. No one dying. Death in life.

I had chilling visions of people being buried in blocks underwater after they surpass a certain age. People tagged with expiry dates. No food. People chewing on their own limbs for sustenance. People starving to LIFE every single day. Red dust filling the sky (don’t know where red dust comes from, but hey! It’s my vision… Terminator 2, maybe)…

Why would an allmighty god be such a jerk? Why would she sit and watch while 300′000 die because of a Tsunami. And why are we supposed to be good? What kind of god, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscience, as it were, would just sit and watch? What kind of god would keep mankind wondering? What kind of god focuses only on the middle east to send her sons and prophets?

No god. That’s what. Sims/Simcity are two very popular games. You play god (or the myor). Either way, you are in control of lives. You can influence lives any which way. What do you naturally do? You help. You organize. You develop. You take pleasure in the progress you observe. You don’t sit back and watch. Omnibenevolent. Why isn’t that listed as an omni-attribute of god? Or would that be asking too much?

Isn’t it silly that people still follow organized religion? The moral values are intrinsic, people. We are moral beings. I don’t need the church to tell me not to steal! I don’t need the church to tell me to be a good person. The three God-based religions are responsible for most of the mass murders, persecutions, violence, and general evil-doing in these past two thousand years. Why? In the NAME OF GOD.

Well, I might be moved to admit that I can’t deny that God exists, simply because, as a logical person, I can’t tell for sure. I know this, however. The bible? The Koran? The Torah? All teach you how to live in their respective eras. They are deprecated books that controlfreaks need in order to brainwash the masses.

God would not brainwash his subjects to fly planes into building, or blow themselves up for his sake. Nor would he bribe them with 72 virgins, mind you. God would not decide, on a whim, that pork is bad, or blowjobs are good. God would not decide that women are inferior to men. God would not decide that we should all take a break on Sunday and cheer for him. God, if she existed, would probably not give a rat’s ass what we do. I don’t care what the person sitting next to me on a bus choses to do, as long as it doesn’t harm me. Why should God be such a baby? Why should she have such an image problem, such low self-esteem that she’d need people to cheer her on 5 times a day or once a week?

I say, ridiculous. Religion, my ass. Religion is a tool to control the weak. Religion is evil incarnate. Religion is the devil’s tool, and God is acting through the modern, intelligent man to reverse it, and finally bring back the age of enlightenment. If you think you can convince me otherwise, bring it on.